You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize