Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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