i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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