I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I cannot find my penis.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
