Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Boobs are out for the taking
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
