I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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