okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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