Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
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Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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