shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize