mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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