HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
