We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Are we still banned from the library?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
