I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
