Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
