How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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