Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
