Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I should injure you considerably.

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(440): View more from Ohio

My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.

Fav 14 4651 751
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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

Fav 7 4823 1116
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help

Fav 22 3955 1737
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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.

Fav 5 1432 4296
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.

Fav 17 1426 4642
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(316): View more from Kansas

I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

(1-316): View more from Kansas

Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

Fav 6 4104 1213
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(352): View more from Florida

Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month

Fav 6 939 695
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(443): View more from Maryland

a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.

Fav 0 334 176
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