Texts From Last Night

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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me

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  (615): I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me http://tfl.nu/hl8u
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  There's a dead frog in my kitchen?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"

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  (828): There's a dead frog in my kitchen? (402): Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush. (402): The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all" http://tfl.nu/9htk
  Replies (34) Good night (2208) Bad night (4776)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  That's cute.

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  (914): For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding. (1-914): That's cute. http://tfl.nu/zzhb
  Replies (27) Good night (1270) Bad night (2519)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.

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  (406): he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut. http://tfl.nu/l4ub
  Replies (24) Good night (747) Bad night (5967)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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  (718): We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate. http://tfl.nu/1mwi
  Replies (14) Good night (1338) Bad night (4756)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's gonna be a great weekend

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  (203): as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot (1-203): it's gonna be a great weekend http://tfl.nu/mkok
  Replies (13) Good night (6430) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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  (516): I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?" http://tfl.nu/niuk
  Replies (38) Good night (7077) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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  (816): Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night. http://tfl.nu/m82p
  Replies (9) Good night (3356) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

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  (224): Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober http://tfl.nu/war3
  Replies (15) Good night (2326) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club

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  (512): that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club http://tfl.nu/q8pu
  Replies (8) Good night (1187) Bad night (1985)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

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  (805): I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up. http://tfl.nu/2z9h
  Replies (10) Good night (2004) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas

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  (661): It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas http://tfl.nu/7a5h
  Replies (9) Good night (1632) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key

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  (609): Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key http://tfl.nu/pj3h
  Replies (7) Good night (2044) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.

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  (402): Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord. http://tfl.nu/2tip
  Replies (9) Good night (485) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.

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  (469): TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low. http://tfl.nu/y5ae
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (367)

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