**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants