Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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