doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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