nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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