I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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