Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
