He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
