i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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