That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have post one night stand depression
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