I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
3pm strippers are depressing
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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