im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
