Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
