the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We left the knife in your bed.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
