A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
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my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
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DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize