I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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