marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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