why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
