Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
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He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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