Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
