oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
