Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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