I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You've changed since you got that strap on
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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