there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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