Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
