I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize