The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
