At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
