Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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