Pappa wants mamma naked
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
