he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
