these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
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ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
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There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The cops high fived after they tackled you