I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.