singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.