i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
