3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
