At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
