Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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