Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
