Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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