I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
