I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
