So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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