If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sext me about skeletons
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
