ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
