is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize