I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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