I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
